Okay, no email from the XO this morning. This is where I usually start thinking to myself "Omg" and "Pigfucker" (alternately). I'd try to do something diff today, but I don't feel like it.
One of my best girlfriends has been irritated with me since this past Saturday. We've talked once since then. I'm lonely. Normally we talk every day. I miss her but I've been trying not to be pushy.
Mon ami, one of my best guy friends, upset me last night through no fault of his own. It's just part of our relationship dynamic. It's inevitable. There's a lot of fire between us. Sometimes I get hurt. Sometimes he gets frustrated. But Idk what to do abt it, and bc of both of these things, I'm feeling pretty alone. OK very alone.
And then the lack of email doesn't help.
I had plans to spend all day Monday kayaking a non-tidal river with another close friend. Now, bc of the stupid gay fucking hurricane, that river will more likely than not be at or near flood stage by Monday and therefore unsafe to kayak.
I don't mean to be negative. I just feel kicked in the stomach today. Mr. XO, you're breaking my heart, please talk to me. I could use a friend today.
The only positive thing abt any of this is that with the upped meds, I can feel all of this and still want to roar into work like an aggressive bull. OK maybe all bulls are aggressive. You get the idea.
But all in all.......... I miss my boyfriend :-( I need a good cry. My fucking cramps still hurt. Today is Day 3. Wtf, mother nature? Fuck you!
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